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DEJA VU

“Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow” - Nursery rhyme

So I get home after a big long flight and sleep for a while, then when I wake up I think about how my plants are doing. After the Plant Tragedy last time I left Mary in charge, I might well wonder.

"Sometimes it's not the thought that counts. It's the cake." - Me.

Heheheh, back from the states now with an inbox full of panic. "I haven't seen you around for a while, you're not retired, are you?"

AGENT ORANGE

“The art of life is to show your hand. There is no diplomacy like candor. You may lose by it now and then, but it will be a loss well gained if you do. Nothing is so boring as having to keep up a deception.” - Anonymous

"Tell me what you eat, I'll tell you who you are."~ Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

“A good garden may have some weeds.” ~ Thomas Fuller

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/305357_2424751982695_1368...

See that plant?

(Sorry, Drupal is playing up and won't let me display the picture directly).

That was my plant, that was.

That was my other nice green lavender plant. The one the pigeons didn't destroy.

THE DARK SIDE

“Yes, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware of the dark side. Anger, fear, aggression; the dark side of the Force are they. Easily they flow, quick to join you in a fight. If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice.” - Yoda

PIGEON ENGLISH

“True happiness arises, in the first place, from the enjoyment of one's self, and in the next, from the friendship and conversation of a few select companions.” - Joseph Addison

Some people mark out their lives in Dogs. I only ever had the one and will never have another, so I can't do that. I mark mine out in pigeons.

THE REAL GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO: DRUG TRIAL DOCS ALMOST KILLED ME

“Yes I do want to die, just not right now.” - Bart Thielges

Some correspondence between myself and my ADHD doctor. For confidentialty I'd take out his name, but where's the fun in that?

Dear Doctor Rozewicz,

I hope you are well.

test

LOST

"It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling." ~ Mark Twain

I'm no stanger to the odd behaviour of the over-excited. I know that when a man has his Hopes up, his navigation skills can be a little.. hindered.

A POLICEMAN'S LOT

“They swing the lead as best they can, while looking for the easy collars. Then they get all uppity like, when someone expects 'em to do their job.” ~ John Higgins, Brother John and Sister Chain

THE CAKE THIEF

"Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed. Chocolate makes it worthwhile." ~ Anonymous

It's late, and I need to think. Cigarettes help me think but I've run out. I go into Mary's room - without knocking. It's midnight. She's always asleep by now.

I head for the far side of the sofabed to look for fags.

FOOT IN MOUTH

"The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance;
The wise grows it under his feet." ~ James Oppenheim

Some warning signs here that this might be a timewaster!

"Heya i have a fetish for smelling girls feet so things like footjobs and the usal.."

Bad spelling. Bad grammar. If this guy earns enough to pay my rates, I need to put my rates up.

"Arguing with an idiot is like teaching a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time, and it only annoys the pig!" ~ Anonymous

I had a troubling phone call the other day..

"Hi! I got your number off the TLC website!"

That's a website where escorts who like to meet disabled guys advertise.

"Oh, hello Baby! How can I help?"

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend. ~ Corey Ford

For reasons that I can't quite untangle, Liam's dog - a Staff called 'Ruby' is staying at Mary's. But Mary hasn't got the hang of this Dog Thing at all.

Wanna know who this is?

I'm more sympathetic to pedophiles than most. It is not as if, for instance, anyone kneels by their bed every night, praying "Oh please God make me a Kiddie-Fiddler by morning", is it?

You sort of are one, and you are stuck with it. A bit like being gay, or left-handed, or an Autie, or having red-hair.

Here is a copy and paste of a comment I posted in response to someone who thinks Assange is evading justice. I thought you all might like it.

@Carnivore:
He has good reason to believe he will get no fair trial in Sweden. Here is the proof..

http://www.chillingmesoftly.com/content/proof-marianne-ny-lied-swedish-c...

Something has been bothering me.

Now it may come as a shock to some, but I have enjoyed, from time to time, the occasional dalliance with a Gentleman.

Quite a - erm, few, gentlemen.

Not once, in my entire litany of depravity have I ever felt the need to do this..