Deja Vu

DEJA VU

“Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow” - Nursery rhyme

So I get home after a big long flight and sleep for a while, then when I wake up I think about how my plants are doing. After the Plant Tragedy last time I left Mary in charge, I might well wonder.

All sat in three inches of water again, but once I drain them off they look like they'll survive. I explain to Mary that plants need air as well as water and too much water will suffocate the roots. I took up hydroponics while in Oklahoma, so I know a bit about plants now. And she looks like she gets it. That is, she looks like she's never heard of such a thing before, then looks enlightened.

Progress. Besides which, the Passion Flower has a bud on it. At least one of them likes her then.

But soon I start wondering where my two little ivy plants might be hiding. I can't see any ivy at all.

On further inspection I can, however, see some straggly dry brown things, right where they used to be.

"What's this??" I said, holding up one tiny pot to her face. She fumbled for her glasses, put them on, frowned for a moment then caught my eye, all astonished shame.

"What do you mean, Icicle?"

"What the fuck do you think I mean Mary? This dried up twig thing that used to be an ivy plant and now its just a fucking twig?"

"I dunno Icicle, a twig??" She looked down.

"That's right. It's a twig. Used to be a nice little ivy plant, and now its just a twig. In a pot. And what are these other things? these dried up little crinkly things that are on the twigs?"

"Erm.. leaves?"

"Leaves!! That's right - don't be afraid! Just shout 'em right out when you know 'em!"